Mama, I love you

I don't know why I didn't publish this here before, guess I was just too lazy, now today I feel like writing and writing and writing. This is my second post of the day already. That's never happened to me before! So anyway, I wrote this poem some weeks back for a friend for a competition, that he was supposed to enter. And hah, lo behold, the day of the competition, I was pushed into going on stage and elocuting the poem and being the entry for the competition. The poem needs to be read keeping in mind that's its been written from the point of view of a child. It does have usage of childish language, but for me that adds to the charm of it. It's very dear to me. I do hope you feel the way I do about it, once you read it! :)

I see you.
Pretending to look for me in the bushes, when you can clearly see me from above.

I see you.
Smile happily ,every time I make a new drawing.

I see you.
Angry, because I broke your favourite teapot with the little yellow flowers.

I see you.
Fuss over me when I fall ill and complain oh-so-much.

I see you.
Smiling, ever so proudly when I come first in class- two times! :)

I see you.
Surprised,more nervous than me,watching me dress up for my first date.

I see you.
Crying, at my high school graduation.

I see you.
Standing by me, when I face my first heartbreak.

I see you.
Surrounded by people in white all the time.

I see you.
Lying on the bed, catheter attached to your body.

I see you.
Straining to breathe.

I see you.
Cough so much, it scares me.

I see you.
Being visited by strange people who call themselves my uncles and aunties.

I see you.
And I see people patting my head, giving me hugs and saying "it'll be alright" .

I see you.
And I see that green line, go up and down and up and down and up...and down...

I see you.
Smiling faintly, as they lower you into the earth.

I see you.
But I don't understand.

I see you in my dreams.
Mama, I love you.
But why don't I see you here anymore.

Of pancakes and the sunset

It is said, "Life is measured not by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away". I've come across this, time and again but I never really tried to understand the hidden meaning. During a recent trip to gokarna, it came to me. I've had some amazing times in my life, met amazing people, been to amazing places but I do not have pictures that will remind me of these times if and when I forget them. But then, another thing is that when you're having fun, you're too busy to have fun than take pictures of it! Like the gokarna trip was probably the most relaxing trip I've ever been on. I don't have pictures of the most fun times on the trip, because obviously, we were too busy having fun! :P I want this to be a memory for me, of one of the most amazing times in my life. It was about being with people I love, the beach, the sea, the food and the talks. That's all that it was about. It was about talking for hours and hours about nothing in particular, knowing that life will never be the same again, that we will never be here, like this, ever again. It was about hogging like pigs. And man, the way we ate. It was about appreciating the beauty of the place. No hurries. It's about the four hours we spent at skylark cafe. Its about the bed bugs that bit is really hard. Haha. It was about the waves crashing on us. It was about "seducing" the food. Hahaha. It was about the nutella pancakes. It was about the sunrise and the sunset. It was about the full moon. It was about discussions that ranged from mythology to technology to friendships to horrifying truths. It was about the new card games we learned and played. It was about revelations and secrets. It was about the train journey back to Manipal. It was about sitting at the door of the general compartment, talking to your best friend about anything and everything in the world. It was about changes and new beginnings. It was about the love between all of us. It was about us. It was when we just let ourselves be. It was about when words were not important to convey what we were feeling. It was about spending time with all of you.
I love you all. You know it. Even though I know there is a very very slim chance any one of you will ever read it, I still want this to be there. So that in life, if I ever want to revisit this trip, I know where to go. It's more for me, than you, I know. But what to do, life moves on and places change, but hearts stay where they were. Always.

Violet Delight

Don't act like that, don't shut me out
Like I'm a stranger and she's not
You're all I dream
Violet delight
You wake me in the night

It's rare that I should care this much
It's stupid that I want your touch
Now I understand that you can't
Live with all I am

Don't wake me up, I'm someone new
The perfect girl who's right for you
I want it all, I want the pain
When you are gone, it rains

It's rare that I should care this much
It's stupid that I need your touch
Now I understand that you can't
Live with all I am

Orchestra drown me
I'm deaf in sound sleep

It's rare that I should care this much
It's stupid how I need your touch
Now I understand that you can't
Live with all I, live with all I
Live with all I am

This is one song that has been moving in circles in my mind since at least a month. I'm so in love with it. First, the colour violet. Hah. That's my favouritest (I know it's not a word,but still! ) colour in the world! Then I'm in love read LOVE with Michal Towber's voice. It's so soothing and haunting at the same time. To top all this, this song conveys everything that has been going on inside my mind so perfectly that its freaky. Okay. Now I'd better be off since I have sessionals coming up and I'm in no mood to fuck them up!

3SmartCubes.com - IQ Test

Memories *Sniff*

Okay. I don't know where this sudden urge to blog more is coming from, but it's been there for quite a while now. Well since it's there, i decided to do justice to it ;P. Anyway yesterday i was introduced to a song that has left me reminiscing about the last two years. I did exactly what he said, closed my eyes, turned up the volume and imagined myself at KC.

So many memories came rushing back. It was overwhelming.
It's five thirty in the morning, we're all at kc, playing basket ball. Np, ansh, chandu,dipika,neeti,shir and me. The sun rising in the background. Fast forward a couple more days, standing in front of campus stores,laughing our asses off for some reason. Inside the block, shouting and running through the corridoors just to scare neetika. Hah. What fun! Fp..*our place* ..Innumerable walks and talks with nik...Wishing them back..Goa. The drive to arambol with the wind in our hair. Goa the second time. Sleeping in the general compartment near the door. Diwali. Being around people I love so much. My room. Chand, ansh and me sitting on my bed and laughing and bitching and laughing again. Ansh and riche nights. Shir. Sitting in neeti's room. The drunk girls night. Hilarious and too much at the same time. Divya. Being all cute and caring. All the time. Prachi and ankit. Together. Venugopal. Praying with nik. Nik. Just being with nik. Soup times. Hunger pangs. PMSing. Taking it out on your best friends. Siddharth. Reading in his room. Naera- ever smiling and just dropping in for a chat. Walking back from college talking to vipul. Hospital. Twenty-20 world cup final. Dinners with ansh and chand. The backchodi we did in the library. Being crazy after songs (not unlike right now,but still). Omg. More talks with chand and ansh. Chandu's room. Anshi's room. Nik's room. Places I've lived. Literally. Sid's place. Innumerable parties at Blue's. And the last thing I remember is all of us, the first time we went to end point..walking into the sunset...


There are so many more memories...so so many more...they came to me too...but in repetitions of the song...everything was so crystal clear..suddenly I felt like all of you were here with me. Gave me some sort of inner peace that i was looking for. Calmed me down and then made me ache for you all more. All the more. Cause I knew those times would never come back. NEVER. Things will never be the same again. NEVER. That hurt. That hurt so bad.
But I know, this was the end of a phase in a very long journey..one that will hopefully last all our lives..

'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine...

When you were here...

when you were here
the place had a different ring to it

when you were here
the sunset was romantic

when you were here
the sky was magical

when you were here
waking up meant listening to your voice

when you were here
the break meant meeting you in the hallway

when you were here
class meant texting you or playing games with you

when you were here
nights meant talking incessantly for hours

when you were here
evenings meant long walks and the sunset

when you were here
days meant studying in the lib ;P

when you were here
meals were always fought about

when you were here
it was nice to be pampered

when you were here
time was on our side

when you were here
love was in the air

when you were here
i loved you like there was no tomorrow

now you're not here
there's nothing magical about the place

now you're not here
i've suddenly lost my appetite

now you're not here
waking up or going to sleep isnt fun anymore

now you're not here
there are no magical hugs or kisses

now you're not here
the sunset is still beautiful..but sad..

now you're not here
the roads are lonely cuz we dont walk there anymore

now you're not here
the lib misses you

now you're not here
classes or break dont mean anything

now you're not here
i've forgotten what it felt to be pampered

now you're not here
i miss you

now you're not here
i still love you as much as before

Hang in there...

For reasons undefined
I sit down to make a rhyme
Thoughts running parallel with time
My hands trying hard to keep up with my mind

As I look deeper, I find
An ocean of uncertainty looking up from behind the blinds
This feeling tags with me
I'm left behind..

They say in this race
Only the best man wins
There are others who run too,you know
But they are kicked in the shins


Life is unfair, they say
People move on, but you gotta stay.
Life is unfair, I say
People moved on, but I still stay
But hey...come what may
I know there will be a day
When it's gonna be my way..